I Give Up
by Diluted Memories
Summary: Sasame has joined Takako, but is she the one the Knight of Sound really loves? (SasameHayate)
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This is my first Pretear fanfic, so I hope it's not too bad and I don't own Pretear, of course. Heh, wouldn't that be nice.

Warning: This fic contains yaoi (male/male relationships), so I don't want to hear it if you don't like that stuff and read this story anyway.

This takes place after that day when Sasame took Takako to Leafeania and was turned into her dark servant. A product of what my mind did with the world and characters of Pretear after that point in the story. Be afraid.

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"Sasame, did you think of me all this time?"

"Yes, even now."

"Sasame, if what you are saying is true, you should be willing and able to give me proof of your love. You must kill Hayate. If you'll do that, then I can finally believe that you truly love me."

'_Is this… what I want? Do I want her to return my love this much? …I'll do this for you, Takako. I will abandon everything I've lived for, for you.'_

"Why do you wait! …I think it's about time you tell me how you really feel. If you have any desire what so ever of being a leafe knight in your heart then kill me right now. If it's true that you love me, if you really do love me at all, then kill! Kill Hayate!"

'_Why am I waiting? I love Takako. I want more then anything to prove it to her. Then why… is this so hard? I can't stand that look in his eyes. It's almost… mocking. _

_He knows I can't do it. I can't kill him. But how does he? Why do you look so sure Hayate?' I suddenly feel sick. '…because, he knows… I-' _

_-_

"What's wrong, Sasame?" her voice shakes me from my thoughts of that day that still seemed so fresh in my mind even though it was weeks ago.

"…you don't miss them, do you?" I shake my head. A lie. I miss all of the leafe knights. I miss Himeno. I haven't seen any of them, though I'm somewhat grateful. I know if I did, it would be under Takako's orders. And I wouldn't be there for 'catching up with friends'.

She smiles at me in a knowing, and somewhat disappointed way. "…I need to rest, do what ever you wish." And without another word she is gone, and I am alone in the old church.

I lay back, resting on the wooden bench and close my eyes. My memory drifts and takes me back to the days when we were searching for the new pretear after Takako had changed into the princess of disaster. Hayate, Kei, Goh, and I were worried that we would never find the pretear. It didn't help that three of the leafe knights had to be reborn either. But… during that time, I had somehow managed the courage to tell Hayate how I felt about him…

"…_is that so?" he asked quietly, those deep blue pools still admiring the sunset. I looked away, a deep blush staining my cheeks as I nodded. "…you know that is against the rules." I nodded again._

Funny, I've never been good at following rules… but now thinking back on it… that night… is probably what started all of this mess. The reason I couldn't kill Hayate a few weeks ago… and would still be unable to now, if Takako asked it of me again.

-

Ok, short beginning chapter but I just want to get some opinions before I continue. Reviews would be greatly appreciated and if you feel that you must flame me, I'm sure you have a good reason to, so go ahead. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

-DM


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: I'm so sorry this took so long. I've been working on a project my friends and I are doing, as well as school. I also apologize for this yet again being short, but I had to end it where I did, or the next chapter wouldn't have the effect I want. Anyway thank you so much to all of you who reviewed.

Once again, I do not own Pretear, but I do however own Chris Patton. …ok fine, so I don't own him either.

And now, on with the fic!

_-_-

"…_is that so?"_

_Oh god… my heart is pounding so hard I'm surprised he can't hear it. Stay calm. _

"…_you know that is against the rules." I nod again and try hard to will away the color on my cheeks. After a few moments of silence I step closer to him until I lay my head against his back. To my surprise, he doesn't push me away.. but turns around and wraps his arms around me. _

"..What were you thinking, Hayate?" I whisper at the memory replaying in my mind. I close my eyes again, all of those sensations and emotions running through me once more. His touch, his lips, the weight of his body on mine, all driving me over the edge.

"_Are you… ok?" His low voice echoes in my ears and all I can do is nod as I try to hold him closer; my legs wrapping tighter around his waist. The slow rocking of his hips making me forget everything I've ever known or even cared about. There's only him and I and nothing else that matters. _

I sigh, feeling the coldness of my own hands tracing down my sides, trying to mimic his gentle touch and open my eyes to stare up into the dark, a tear sliding down my face. I want him. I love him. Still. I want to see him, to hear him say my name.. not Takako's.. not Himeno's.. _My _name.I sigh again at my thoughts.

"I sound like a selfish child," I scold myself. "I made a mistake.. I turned my back on what I was meant to do because I was lonely and couldn't stand him being with someone else."

"All of us do desperate things when we're lonely."

I jerk up into a sitting position staring in the direction of the voice. A shadowed figure stood in the door way of the church and I didn't need to see the person to know who it was. That voice.

"Himeno?" Something is wrong. She shouldn't be here. Much less alone.

"You know… I think Muwatta was right. Maybe it would be better to be alone." She starts to step closer to me and I stand up. "If you were alone, you would never hurt anyone… and no one would have hurt you." She pauses.

"..Hayate wouldn't have hurt you." My eyes widen as I can barely make out the smile her lips formed after she had said that.

"She's right, Sasame." Takako's cruel and teasing voice echoes from behind me.

"..But now, without a pretear, the leafe knights will suffer. Hayate will finally know the pain he's caused."

I don't want this. I didn't want them to get hurt. I just wanted so badly to…

"Himeno, why don't you go fetch our little helper for me?" she smiles in the dark.

Helper? What is she planning? Who is she talking about? I see her smile broaden at my obvious confusion.

"Princess of Sorrow, bring him to me..."

* * *

Ok, sorry again for it being short. Please review, flame, and whatever else you need to do, and thank you for reading. 

DM


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Well first I want to say thank you so much for the reviews. It feels really great to write something in the hopes of entertaining others and it actually working. So thank you very much again. In this chapter I was thinking about changing the pov, but being the Sasame fan I am, I didn't want to.

Oh, and I do not; have not, ever owned Pretear.

(and my little lines wern't working soI had to use a big one to separate this from the fic)

* * *

Himeno left, but what disturbed me was the way in which she did so. She teleported. She has never had the ability to do that before, and now I worry what other powers becoming the Princess of Sorrow has gifted her with.

I sit silently wondering who Takako could have been talking about. Who could she possibly need help from now that she has the pretear?

"What are you thinking about, Sasame?" she asks quietly.

"You, my love." She smiles and comes behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"You're lying…" she whispers against my ear. After a moment, I answer.

"You're powerful, Takako… I just can't figure out who you would need or want help from." I feel her lips form a smile against the skin of my neck.

"Think hard, Sasame… which one of the leafe knights would even be valuable to me? Hm?" she's speaking as if this is a game now, but one of the leafe knights? I can feel my stomach twisting with worry. Each of the leafe knights are strong… but who could she want? …only then, like a pound of bricks, did the answer I had wanted so badly, slap me in the face. My eyes widened at the thought. She couldn't… she couldn't use him.. He's just a child!

"…Shin." I answer, my voice barely audible and she kisses my neck, as if to let me know I'm right.

"I always knew you were the smartest of the leafe knights." She says, laughing slightly.

"…He can make barriers… and if you have him.. then you wont have to worry about being sealed away again."

"Very good, Sasame.." she says walking toward the alter in the back of the church.

"I'm going to go check on some things… will you miss me?" I turn and look at her.

"of course," smiling at me, she leaves.

I need to get out of here… I have to warn them. Even though I turned my back on being a leafe knight, and have fought Hayate, I can't let anything happen to the kids.

I quickly teleport to Himeno's house, hoping maybe they would be there looking for her, and I got lucky. I hear Kei, Goh, and the kids, by the fountain. They all sound worried about Himeno. I'm surprised she hasn't shown up yet… but why not? And where is…

Before I can find an answer to my question, I feel the flat of a blade lightly press against my neck. A blue long sword.

"..What are you doing here, Sasame?"

* * *

Thanks again for reading, and please review. More to come soon! And thanks again for the support you all have been giving me on this fic, it really helps. Thanks! 

DM


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: wow finally an update! Yay! Thanks so much for being patient, those of you still reading this.

You know by now, I don't own Pretear although it'd be nice.

--

I close my eyes taking in a deep breath. What am I doing here? He won't believe that I'm here to help. I sigh and he takes notice of it but is no less off guard then before.

"…Himeno... isn't on our side anymore." I say quietly. He laughs bitterly.

"Isn't on our side? _Our_ side? Neither are you, or have you forgotten?" His voice seethes as if I had said it to mock him, but I'm out of patients and running out of time. I whorl around to face him, if he can look into my eyes… I know he'll see that I'm not lying… that I could never lie to him…that I still love him.

"Himeno turned into the Princes of Sorrow, Hayate! She's helping Takako …and she's going after Shin." He looks deep into my eyes. He's trying to decide whether to trust me again and I don't get a chance to say anything else before we both hear Goh's relieved and cheery voice in the back ground.

"Himeno! Where ya' been?" I whip my head to the side just in time to see Himeno smile sweetly at the knights around her before a demon larva forms behind her and in a flash, strikes Goh, sending him flying backwards onto the ground. I barely make it three running steps before the larva attacks Kei. Hayate is right behind me and we cover the few feet left between us and the fight in a matter of seconds. But everything is happening so fast. Mannen gets the first hit on the beast, Hajime shortly after but Shin just stands there… silent. His eyes are fixed on Himeno's as if in some sort of trance. She smiles down at him from her perch on the demon larva and he takes a step toward it, his hand reaching out.

"Himeno…" his soft innocent voice calls. It sends a shiver through my body. He sounds fake… like a doll. A puppet on strings with no will to free or even knowledge that he's being manipulated.

"Shin, come with me. I want to show you a place… it's more beautiful then Leafeania." She says to him soothingly.

I shoot a sound wave at her, but one of the larva's tentacles took the blow. Her clothes have changed. They somewhat resemble the outfit Takako wore only it was black and a deep blue that now matched her hair which had turned the same shade. It was then, that I noticed my own clothes. They had changed back. They were no longer the color of darkness but white. The other knights were again back on their feet and mercilessly attacking the larva, but without the pretear to locate its' core we were doing little real damage to it. I try again to reach Shin, but another large tentacle again knocks me back.

"Hayate!" He looks at me quickly, seeing that I can't get to Shin. But before he or any of the older knights and I can do anything we see Mannen narrowly dodge a swift defensive attack from the larva and he reaches Shin. He pulls on the knight of plants and yells his name but gets no answer.

"Shin! Shin! Come on, something's wrong with Himeno! She's not her self! Listen to me, Shin!" Himeno glares at the ice knight's efforts and raises her hand as if to attack him but a blade of wind contacts her hand, quickly getting her attention. She glares at the bleeding wound and disappears, along with Shin and Mannen.

"Shit!" Goh yelled seeing them disappear.

"Mannen!" Hajime cried out and before we could attack the larva again, it too was gone.

Kei looked to me and tried to give me a smile, as if welcoming me back but we were all far from being able to be happy. Takako now had two of the leafe knights and without a pretear we had no way to stop Takako or her demon larva.

"What do we do now?" Goh asked, looking toward Hayate and holding Hajime. Hayate was silent, looking down, and stood with a tense posture.

He looks up, anger flaring in his eyes, and turns to me.

"Where did she take them, Sasame?"

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Ok, more next time. Thank you, as always, and reviews are loved!

DM


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